When I first heard of ‘self-love’ a few weeks ago, I googled it. I was searching on Pinterest for quotes to inspire me out of this rut I’d found myself in and I stumbled across this thing called a ‘self love club’. I actually couldn’t believe that there was such a thing. I had never, ever loved myself. In fact, I actually hated myself. I didn’t actually know what the term self-love actually meant. If you’d asked me what it was I probably would’ve laughed and said it was selfish and vain. But ask me now and I’ll tell you it’s a dynamic, selfless way to appreciate oneself for all that you are, flaws and all.
“People actually love themselves?” I thought as I clicked link after link, delving into this newfound world of ‘self-love’. I thought long and hard about it and I was like “damn, you treat yourself like sh*it, what the heck?”. I couldn’t remember a time when I thought or said anything nice about myself. I mean sure I have those ‘self care’ days when I pamper myself i.e. have a luxurious bath and put on a face mask, but I never actually say or think nice things about myself. Yes, that’s probably got a lot to do with my depression but the more I thought about it and read about it the more I realised all the posts about self love were true; we are all so rough on ourselves. We need to be nicer to ourselves, we are with ourselves for life.
After looking into it further I saw that it was a somewhat feminist movement. And I am by all means not a feminist, I’m just a girl who goes with the flow and believes in equality but I’m not gonna push it. I somehow got onto looking at Frances Cannon’s instagram don’t know what it is, maybe its the straight up simplicity but I fell in love with the art that Frances Cannon does and her work on loving yourself and everything just started to make sense. I had to learn to love myself. Plain and simple.
But not plain and simple, this self-love journey is not something that could happen overnight, this would be a battle. This new and sparkly idea of self love and actually falling in love with myself was mesmerizing and it bought a flicker of hope from the dark place I was in. This is when I knew that this had to be the thing that got me out of this rut, and for real this time. I was going to beat my depression. I was going to fall in love with me.
I am going to fall in love with me.