It's incredible how far I've come since April. I took some time off, went overseas and now I'm back at uni, resuming my pretty much 'normal' existence. There's only a few more months until I become a vet. Bloody hell. I almost feel as though that really shitty period of time didn't happen. I don't … Continue reading Back to reality.
There are so many beautiful things to be grateful for. Things that form a platform in my first world existence that I will reluctantly admit I take for granted. Things that I know most of the worlds population don't have; a clean, dry and sturdy home, a comfortable bed, warm showers and a stupid amount … Continue reading There are countless things to be grateful for.
It's crazy the amount of times I've sat there thinking "what the hell is wrong with me" or "why me?" or "why do I have depression when nothing bad has ever happened to me?". It's so easy to dwell and internalise these questions. I let it consume me for years, eating away at what was … Continue reading Maybe she’s born with it
I've been asked numerous times why this time my desire and motivation to beat my mental illness is different. The first time I was I asked this I actually felt a bit bewildered. I was caught by surprised and truth be told, at the time, I didn't know why this time was different. But as … Continue reading Why is this time different?
I love bed. I always have. It's my sanctuary. At university I've always struggled getting out of bed and this is evident in the double, maybe triple digit number of lectures I've missed over the last four and half years. I mean, it's a pretty stock standard thing for a young adult to do. However, it … Continue reading Fighting the overwhelming desire to stay in bed.
Socialising scares the shit out of me. I can't remember the last time I socialised where I felt truly at ease. I freeze up, get awkward and everything feels unnatural. My anxiety comes in full force, arms swinging, ready to throw a punch. Just waiting to wound me. I feel like everyone in the room … Continue reading Socialising makes me a lier.
Stigma; a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person. Whether we like it or not there is a stigma about mental health worldwide, but particularly in New Zealand. Sir John Kirwan was one of the first kiwis to actually stand up and talk about it. We all say it, because it's … Continue reading There’s a stigma, whether we like it or not.